sitting up in bed that night God revolved the shell to some pretty INCREDIBLE visions for my life. the first was FOG and second was the beginning of my passion to start an orphanage and for orphans around the world and in my community. my best friend at the time was really the only person i told the entire story of that night to. when i told her it was crazy because she had the same passions, but had never shared them with me. we had talked a little bit about starting what became FOG before that, but after that night we really put the effort into get it started as a club after school. FOG (followers of God) was a little Bible study, of mainly our 7th grade friends, but everyone at the school was welcomed to join. the group got pretty big, but was always quite shallow and dispersed rather quickly. we learned a lot from it, and we did obey what we felt like God wanted us to do. i think that is how God teaches you, just by obeying. sometimes that means falling flat on our faces, and often it is a success in furthering the kingdom of God.
at the same time we started talking about the orphanage we were going to start. how, when, where this orphanage was going to come to life. the thing is, God had not, and still has not revealed that to either of us. between the two of us we have probably planned it in 25+ countries, but that will come in His timing. i am excited to see over the next few years how he will reveal that to us. although i knew i wanted to start it in another country, i told my mother that i wanted to do it here in the united states, because my mom always talked about the need here. although i don't believe this is the passion God gave me, i do feel He gave me the parents i have for a very district purpose. i have never met another couple, or family with as much passion for abused, neglected, or special needs kids as my parents and family.
while i believe He will provide while i am walking in His will, i also know it is going to be hard work everyday.God never commanded us to live safe and secure in money. If we trust that money will give us security then what is it that we have to trust God for? if we make money so that we can have an alarm system in a nice gated community with surveillance and security guards, do we really trust that God is our protector? we think we need one more bedroom, or a bigger yard, or a pool.... and so we sacrifice the time to raise kids in the Love of Christ and we sacrifice our time devoted to God in order to obtain more, then do we really believe God is our Provider? i went to a conference earlier in the year and one of the speakers said "no one gets out of this world alive, but we live to get to death safely." (i'll wait to expand on this in my next blog.) i think that is so true here in america. we work to provide our kids with money and things when we die. we want to make sure we have things to leave them, so it will be easier for them. but we abandon leaving them with the need to find these things from the One that can give and take away everything.
i know going into this orphanage thing that it is going to more demanding and difficult than anything i have experienced. but i also know that my suffering for the sake of the Lord, His Name, and the Gospel will end with a reward that will FAR EXCEED any imagination I could ever have. there will be times where it will be easy to quit, but that is all the devil needs. when the soldiers of the Gospel, or God's Love give up the devil wins. i just pray that i never quit. i pray that i don't listen to all those, even those in the church, that doubt God's ability to provide for His vision on my life. i want to be the one that because of God's Spirit in me shines to all people as INCREDIBLE even though i am far far from that. my life is nothing special, but this life can be INCREDIBLE if i just simply release and surrender it into Gods hands. with that God will have the victory.
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