sitting up in bed that night God revolved the shell to some pretty INCREDIBLE visions for my life. the first was FOG and second was the beginning of my passion to start an orphanage and for orphans around the world and in my community. my best friend at the time was really the only person i told the entire story of that night to. when i told her it was crazy because she had the same passions, but had never shared them with me. we had talked a little bit about starting what became FOG before that, but after that night we really put the effort into get it started as a club after school. FOG (followers of God) was a little Bible study, of mainly our 7th grade friends, but everyone at the school was welcomed to join. the group got pretty big, but was always quite shallow and dispersed rather quickly. we learned a lot from it, and we did obey what we felt like God wanted us to do. i think that is how God teaches you, just by obeying. sometimes that means falling flat on our faces, and often it is a success in furthering the kingdom of God.
at the same time we started talking about the orphanage we were going to start. how, when, where this orphanage was going to come to life. the thing is, God had not, and still has not revealed that to either of us. between the two of us we have probably planned it in 25+ countries, but that will come in His timing. i am excited to see over the next few years how he will reveal that to us. although i knew i wanted to start it in another country, i told my mother that i wanted to do it here in the united states, because my mom always talked about the need here. although i don't believe this is the passion God gave me, i do feel He gave me the parents i have for a very district purpose. i have never met another couple, or family with as much passion for abused, neglected, or special needs kids as my parents and family.
while i believe He will provide while i am walking in His will, i also know it is going to be hard work everyday.God never commanded us to live safe and secure in money. If we trust that money will give us security then what is it that we have to trust God for? if we make money so that we can have an alarm system in a nice gated community with surveillance and security guards, do we really trust that God is our protector? we think we need one more bedroom, or a bigger yard, or a pool.... and so we sacrifice the time to raise kids in the Love of Christ and we sacrifice our time devoted to God in order to obtain more, then do we really believe God is our Provider? i went to a conference earlier in the year and one of the speakers said "no one gets out of this world alive, but we live to get to death safely." (i'll wait to expand on this in my next blog.) i think that is so true here in america. we work to provide our kids with money and things when we die. we want to make sure we have things to leave them, so it will be easier for them. but we abandon leaving them with the need to find these things from the One that can give and take away everything.
i know going into this orphanage thing that it is going to more demanding and difficult than anything i have experienced. but i also know that my suffering for the sake of the Lord, His Name, and the Gospel will end with a reward that will FAR EXCEED any imagination I could ever have. there will be times where it will be easy to quit, but that is all the devil needs. when the soldiers of the Gospel, or God's Love give up the devil wins. i just pray that i never quit. i pray that i don't listen to all those, even those in the church, that doubt God's ability to provide for His vision on my life. i want to be the one that because of God's Spirit in me shines to all people as INCREDIBLE even though i am far far from that. my life is nothing special, but this life can be INCREDIBLE if i just simply release and surrender it into Gods hands. with that God will have the victory.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
One INCREDIBLE Love- My conversion
my conversion is like much of my young life. looking for attention and using any means of getting it. to be honest i don't know how old i was when i decided to accept the INCREDIBLE gift of salvation, and follow Jesus my savior on an INCREDIBLE journey of getting to know my creator. i will tell you that the first time i told anyone (other than my parents) was at our church's music camp and production (our version on VBS). the previous year a girls had accepted Jesus and was introduced during the production. so i tried to pull the same stunt, but it didn't work out for me.
i think accepting Christ at such a young age is an interesting thing. at that age it is so legalistic in nature... if you sin you feel bad and ask for forgiveness... if your scared you pray and He comforts... if something awesome happens He rejoices with you. we trust that it is just like that, because that is what those around us are telling us. As young believer we have that child like faith that allows us to just... believe. trust that He is who He says He is.
i try to think back on when my relationship with God went from being what i did to a true relationship of running to Him. while i know it was and continually is a process, there is one event that has always stood out. i have a fear of fires, they scare the crap out of me. it started from reoccurring dreams that someone was going to set my house of fire. still to this day i can remember a few of the dreams. one night in 7th grade i had one of those dreams, this time someone set our porch on fire. in the dream there was a specific time, but i couldn't remember exactly when so i went down all night to check on it. but in-between checking i spent time all night in prayer and in the word. i opened my book to a random page and started reading... it was the story of shadrach, meshach, and abednego. funny thing is i just recently looked it up for the first since reading it in 7th grade and the book of daniel is all about interpreting dreams. that night i encountered God like i never had before and seldom have since. that night i realized that God is real and INCREDIBLE in my life. i still didn't have the personal relationship with Christ that i developed later in on. but i knew that God was with me, and he was an INCREDIBLE comforter and provider. i just didn't yet understand how i could have a personal relationship with someone i could never talk to, play with or have a sleepover with. that night has shaped my life. that night God gave me the calling for my life, although i fought it to the end, i pray daily that His will wins. because the only thing that is scarier than the calling he placed on my life is living outside of the His will and being unsatisfied and bored with where i am forever.
i think accepting Christ at such a young age is an interesting thing. at that age it is so legalistic in nature... if you sin you feel bad and ask for forgiveness... if your scared you pray and He comforts... if something awesome happens He rejoices with you. we trust that it is just like that, because that is what those around us are telling us. As young believer we have that child like faith that allows us to just... believe. trust that He is who He says He is.
i try to think back on when my relationship with God went from being what i did to a true relationship of running to Him. while i know it was and continually is a process, there is one event that has always stood out. i have a fear of fires, they scare the crap out of me. it started from reoccurring dreams that someone was going to set my house of fire. still to this day i can remember a few of the dreams. one night in 7th grade i had one of those dreams, this time someone set our porch on fire. in the dream there was a specific time, but i couldn't remember exactly when so i went down all night to check on it. but in-between checking i spent time all night in prayer and in the word. i opened my book to a random page and started reading... it was the story of shadrach, meshach, and abednego. funny thing is i just recently looked it up for the first since reading it in 7th grade and the book of daniel is all about interpreting dreams. that night i encountered God like i never had before and seldom have since. that night i realized that God is real and INCREDIBLE in my life. i still didn't have the personal relationship with Christ that i developed later in on. but i knew that God was with me, and he was an INCREDIBLE comforter and provider. i just didn't yet understand how i could have a personal relationship with someone i could never talk to, play with or have a sleepover with. that night has shaped my life. that night God gave me the calling for my life, although i fought it to the end, i pray daily that His will wins. because the only thing that is scarier than the calling he placed on my life is living outside of the His will and being unsatisfied and bored with where i am forever.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
One INCREDIBLE love- Background
I accepted Christ when I was 7ish. I would say my faith became my own during the summer after my 8th grade year. In the past 5 months I have come to a standstill awe of who my God is and what he has done in MY life. Stories of miraculous heart transformations are so glorified in the American church. I don't think that is wrong, it shows the love, mercy, and power of my God. About 4 months ago I was praying, kinda embarrassed that I had backed down during a situation where I could have shared what I believed with a Muslim woman. I realized that although God has proven himself again and again in my life, I just see it as normal. I have never gone through a phase where I walked away from God. I didn't fall into the sins that the world can see; drugs, sex, alcohol, and cursing. I didn't have a prodigal return. So I thought my story of salvation was a little too boring for anyone to hear. When people asked my my story I would repeat the first two lines of this post to them. I didn't really think my story had anything else to it... it was boring. I don't know exactly what I was thinking when I started writing these in my journal, but I wanted to discover what it was that made my story INCREDIBLE. Why did God choose me but so many others in this world die everyday not knowing or accepting the gift of salvation. I don't want to die like so many other Christians just accepting the gift, but not having the faith that my God is powerful, sovereign, and loving enough to do all the things he did in the Bible. One of the things I have surrendered to God is my dreams of marriage, kids, and a big beautiful house. Not because those things are bad, but because God has something different in store for my life. So this is my love story of how God is taking my life from boring to INCREDIBLE by helping me discover who he is and his heart for my life.
you know growing up i was always a good kid. i did the right things and said the right things (well most of the time). but truth is as i got into high school and started to hear all the spectacular stories of how people were saved, and what they were saved from, i began to feel boring. i began to believe that i couldn't share my faith until i had a cool story to share with it. the thing is God has blessed me my entire life. i believed that he died for me and saved me early in life and have not encountered any mojor life altering events since. so i began to get comfortable. i could go to church, serve in children's ministry, and dream big. it all fit in well with the plan, with my plan, with my parents plan, and with the american dream. the problem is, it didn't really fit with God's plan. now i don't mean He came down with a roadmap or burning bush telling me where to go, what to do and how to do it. no He provided me with an INCREDIBLE book: the Bible. the problem is, i wanted something a little more flashy than that. but recently i have been convicted by just how INCREDIBLE He is. He doesn't do boring. He doesn't do virtual. He does. period. He goes. period. He loves. period. it is so simple that we work to make it more complicated, because complicated allows for excuses. He didn't. through this story, through my story, through our (God and i) story i have come to realize that as a daughter of God i am loved in a way no other being can ever compare to. i am loved by my Creator, Father, Best Friend, and Groom in one INCREDIBLE indescribable being.
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